Roommate cooks for up to 6 hours/day, refuses to share the kitchen with her 5 roommates: 'She is quite literally food obsessed, she takes up 75% of cupboard and counter space'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 7, 2026 10:00 AM EST

A huge part of being a good roommate is negotiating the shared space.

If you can't figure out how to share your space, then you've failed as a roommate. That's kind of the whole gig. You do your best to keep your mess to your quarters and pick up after yourself. You do your dishes in a timely manner and don't have guests over without asking first. You try to initiate fun roommate activities together, but you respect each other's privacy. And you make sure that you're not hogging any of the shared resources. Nobody wants to feel like they're fighting for space in their own apartment. The kitchen is a huge part of that. Odds are, you're all using the kitchen. You all have to feed yourselves, and thus need to get in there every once in a while. And it's hard to use the kitchen at the same time as someone else. I don't know if you've ever seen Chopped, but there's a reason they give them all their own workstations. You don't want to be wielding a knife around your roommate, trying to stir a soup, especially in small quarters. But usually, this can be solved by staggering your kitchen use. Maybe you have different schedules, especially in college, so you try to take your meals at different times. And when you're cooking something, you try to get in and out of there as quickly as possible so your roommates can use it. 

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  • A woman stands in front of a cooking range cutting off basil from a plant
    via Tina Dawson

    A roommate uses two burners for a meal and cuts off a piece of basil from the windowsil

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • That's not what the woman in this story did. She had very little regard for her roommates' kitchen needs and instead kept it all to herself. She insisted on cooking from-scratch meals all the time, and it wasn't even food that she was going to share with anyone else. It was simply her way of taking up too much space in her apartment. So her roommates were predictably fed up with having to deal with her, one of them in particular. He wondered if there was a way around this tricky situation, or if he was stuck with this until he got it together to move out. Read on to see what happened.

  • My flatmate cooks for up to six hours a day and I can't live with it anymore.

    I have been living in a six person university provided flat since september. I have some rapport with four of my flatmates, all very functional but mostly pleasant. However, since day one I have had issues with one flatmate, I'll call her 'Aja'. Aja from the first time meeting me took an instant dislike to me, stonewalled me, refused to talk to me for no apparent reason. The major issue I have with her is the excess to which she uses the shared kitchen.
    via u/Angrynut750
  • We're all students and on different schedules so in theory it should be easy to work around each other. Aja however does not leave the flat and seemingly watches all her lectures online. She rarely leaves the flat other than for food shopping. She cooks around four to five meals a day, always completely from
    via u/Angrynut750
  • scratch and with no other prep work done. We have one small stove which she blocks repeatedly with multiple pots and pans. Tonight at 7pm after a day of classes she had three pans going at the same time (we have four hobs). She is quite literally food obsessed, she takes up 75% of cupboard and counter space with her implements, spices,
    via u/Angrynut750
  • packaged food. She is also quite unpleasant (to me only) and gets quite passive aggressive should you try cook around her e.g. bumps into you or splashes water on you. I've tried to reach a consensus with the other flatmates as I know they are affected too but they all seem content to work around her.
    via u/Angrynut750
  • Compounding all of this is her refusal to clean up after her self or even ventilate the kitchen after. I don't feel I can live like this anymore as I am seriously stressed and my diet has suffered massively. I also am reluctant to complain to RAs or the University as optically she can turn it in her favour, i'm a big man and she's only a small woman.
    via u/Angrynut750

  • Commenters gave ideas on how to tackle this issue.

    CapBrief Objectively you have two choices: Work with her on it and communicate Or talk to the RA's and ask to be switched to a different unit.
    via u/CapBrief
  • Dry-Name2835 Objectively we only hear 1 side of the story and all the other roomates seem content with the situation as OPS has admitted. Op needs to request to move as you suggested but with so many others being content with the situation, I'm inclined to think OP may be exaggerating the situation or is being overly sensitive to it.
    via u/Dry-Name2835
  • Popular-Parsnip... Your worst enemy is yourself OP for not doing anything to get out of this situation. Communication is key
    via u/Popular-Parsnip8911
  • scienceislice Try to switch to a new unit - she is clearly not going to change and I do agree that big man small woman optics are not good. Also, I suggest cooking around her more often. If
    via u/scienceislice
  • she uses the stove top try to use the oven. I promise that if you cook around her every single day and do not back down despite her unpleasantness she will get over it and you will get your dinners made.
    via u/scienceislice
  • A woman washes dishes in a kitchen sink
    via Documerica

    A roommate washes dishes in a messy kitchen

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Potential_Self88... I had a roommate like this too, she never left the house, cooked for HOURS everyday, if I asked for space cook my dinner for 30 mins a day she'd hover, bump into me etc and act like a lion guarding the watering hole, it was utterly ridiculous and I ended up just buying food from the deli across the street and moved out after 3 months
    via u/Potential_Self8891
  • fluxworld Start cooking all day too so she can't use the stove and see how she likes that
    via u/fluxworld
  • Mindless-Flower11 It's time to have a group meeting between you & all of your flatmates. It's extremely ride & inconsiderate to be cooking that much in a shared space like that. She needs to stop being so selfish
    via u/Mindless-Flower11
  • Evening_Delay_1... Is she a student? How can she be a student if she doesn't go to class?
    via u/Evening_Delay_1856
  • Partiallyfermented Is there anyone in the University you can speak to before making any formal complaint? Like just for advice, maybe inquire if there may be any free rooms on other flats. Make it understood that you wish to move to a different flat because of this roommate.
    via u/Partiallyfermented
  • catmonki Communicate in writing with her first, over text so it's documented. If things don't go well, go to the RA. Stay super respectful and mature. Things will go better for you if you have proof.
    via u/catmonki
  • Fishwhocantswim Get an air fryer, a kettle and rice cooker and leave it in your room. You can do wonders with these three items. Soups, stews, grilled foods, rice, pasta, roasts, veg, the list is endless. This is a small blimp in your life right now, your life won't be like this forever. It's uni. Years from now, you will look back at this and go 'remember that weird chick I used to room with?'
    via u/Fishwhocantswim
  • VinceP312 I missed where you made any effort to communicate with her. Who's the one being passive aggressive?
    via u/VinceP312
  • No_Medicine_6146 I feel your pain - I live with a woman who often cooks up to 4 hours in 1 small shared kitchen - no heads up to othered, no ventilation afterwards, if you go in for a coffee she gives you the stink eye !! And spreads her
    via u/No_Medicine_6146
  • things on every surface, including ours - she has a separate space for her things lol People are just generally clueless sometimes but I now go in - anyway and make a tea, whatever - she's always surprised !! Might go in on speakerphone next time
    via u/No_Medicine_6146
  • Audio-Starshine Talking to the ra does not mean that you are turning her in for something. Just explain that your lifestyles and schedules are not working out and you need to move to another unit.
    via u/Audio-Starshine

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bad roommate bad roommates flatmate psycho roommate kitchen gross food food sharing space roommates college
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